In preparation of the Spoken Word Poetry Night, I thought I would share my experience on the difficulties in expressing myself, and how I overcame those challenges through performance. This post won’t so much detail what the Workshop processes were like, but rather being an account of the process of my own self-confidence as a performer.

From last workshop, I didn’t feel confident in performing Spoken Word. The nightmare passage I had to share was very difficult for me. What I’ve learnt to understand after having completed all three workshops is that poetry is a process of moving forward and thinking you have improved, only to find yourself going backwards the next day. It’s a fluctuating cycle of having good and bad writing days, a series of multiple roller-coasters running at the same time. Workshop 2 I had found my confidence again, but by Workshop 3 I was overwhelmed with emotions that I decided to block them off, making my Spoken Word rehearsal more like a stale recitation of a poem.

There’s a vulnerability to poems that I struggle to show, or I guess, expose to a crowd of people. 

The problem was, I was trying to make myself “sound” like a Spoken Word performer – if that makes any sense. I’ve always loved the confidence and ability to engage the audience. Being an ambivert, my extroverted sides as an actress portrayed an outgoing personality whenever I act. For a long time I’ve grappled with the idea that I possessed two different personalities – one that was extroverted when performing and introverted in other aspects of life. Only through these workshops did I realise something – it isn’t so much about whether I was an ambivert, or if I was faking an identity. That wasn’t it at all, because all parts of me make up you I am. It’s how I saw myself when I was not acting – vulnerable, quiet, gloomy. I didn’t see confidence in that, but the thing is, that too is being confident. To be able to have moments when you were vulnerable, sensitive, reclusive – these elements are also essentially part of you. 

From the workshop, I learnt and discovered a few things that has probably irrevocably changed the way I view my voice. Being a woman-of-colour who has a rather strong British accent, a lot of people assumed I put on an accent –yes that does happen to me a lot. I became very conscious of the way I sound in relation to other people. I just stood out like a thumb sometimes. But Sheena showed me how I could use my voice as craft in itself. Other than music, my voice played the most prominent role in my performance. It was different to how I perform as a theatre stage actor, with large gestures and expressions. Rather, my body language was more relaxed, and through this I learnt how I could personalise my own style of performing the art of spoken word.

TIPS AND TRICKS:

After attending the workshops and performing my own piece of spoken word poetry with multi-media elements, I realised a few things:

• Don’t be afraid of how you sound or the way you speak. It is individual to only you – your unique patterns, sound and habits can be seen as a craft, a beautiful design.
• Pause – let the audience see the image your painting with your words. Pause causes silence, and silence can be powerful in any performance.
• VULNERABILITY IS OKAY
• You don’t have to reveal everything – a metaphor can represent a truth only you know, so openly speak about your issues and problems.

If you’re interested in seeing any of the Spoken Word performances, then tune into TheLiterature and Drama Society’s Youtube Channel!

All photos, videos, gifs, podcasts and info-graphics used in this blog are self-produced unless credited otherwise.